Marriage and Religious Life part 1

This past weekend, we had the privilege of welcoming seven men on a come and see visit in order to discern a possible call to religious life.  I found it to be both surprising and humorous that the gospel passage for that Sunday (the 27^th Sunday in ordinary time), the last day of the visit, was from Mark 10:2-16 where Jesus affirms the indissolubility and dignity of marriage!  However, after I stopped chuckling to myself and began to dig in and prepare for the homily, I realized that this was a gift from the Lord offering these young men, and indeed all of us, an opportunity to understand both the vocation to marriage and the vocation to religious life more deeply.  Over these next four weeks, I would like to reflect on both of these vocations in the light of the readings from last Sunday and recent Church teaching.  My hope is that these reflections will highlight both the fundamental differences and the complementarity between these two vocations and, therefore, aid some readers in their personal discernment.  We’ll begin this week with marriage.

In last Sunday’s first reading from Genesis 2:18-24, we read “the Lord God said:  ‘It is not good for the man to be alone.  I will make a suitable partner for him” (Gen 2:18).  Immediately this tells us something important about man (mankind; ourselves), namely, that he is incomplete without another.  Man is made for communion.  Marriage is a communion of persons and it is in the context of this communion that he experiences the happiness he was created for! That is why later on in the same reading, Adam, upon seeing Eve for the first time, cries out with joy:  “This one, at last, is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.”  Adam’s first words weren’t, “Wow you’re gorgeous” or “would you like to go out to dinner sometime?”  Instead, he responded to Eve’s presence with the intensity of a poetic, star-crossed lover because in her he saw his own completion, the meaning of his existence.  A modern translation of Adam’s exclamation might be “I will give my very life for you!” or “You are everything to me; I will never love another the way I love you” (Fr. Robert Barron, Magnificat, October 2012, p. 99). 

In marriage, Christ elevates this natural intensity of love to a sacrament!  And He does so because this awesome sacrament reveals something even greater than the natural intensity and happiness of human love.  It actually reveals to us the love of Christ for His Church.

This is the teaching of St. Paul in Ephesians 5:21-32.  In this passage St. Paul begins by exhorting wives to be subject to their husbands because the husband is head of the wife AS Christ is head of his bride, the Church (Eph 5:23).  But, he also exhorts husbands to love their wives AS “Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her…” (Eph 5:25).  Thus, he concludes that the mysterious, one-flesh union of husband and wife points to the greater mystery of the one-flesh union between Christ and His Church.

The Church teaches that authentic, married love is free, faithful, total and fruitful.  This is because these are the very characteristics of Christ’s love for His bride.  Jesus, the bridegroom of the Church, freely and totally gives Himself to the Church in faithful and fruitful love.  Therefore both He in the gospel and the Church in her magisterial teaching affirm the indissolubility and dignity of the sacrament of marriage because it is an image of His marriage to the Church.  If Jesus or the Church allowed divorce, that would be akin to saying that Jesus could divorce the Church; that He could come down from the cross.

The ultimate purpose of the sacrament of marriage is to reveal to us this awesome love of Jesus for His Church.  That is why marriage and sexual love in the context of marriage are held in the highest honor by the Church.  This is the core of Blessed John Paul II’s teaching in the Theology of the Body.

This concludes our brief reflection on the sacrament of marriage.  I hope this offers you an opportunity this week to ponder more deeply this beautiful vocation.  Stay tuned for next week when we will discuss.

The Lord gave me brothers

Today, October 4, is the feast day of our Holy Father St. Francis, arguably one of the most renowned and celebrated saints in Church history.  While popularly characterized as the great lover of animals and an ecological pioneer, those of us who seek to follow his way of life are inspired by his love for Jesus and the holy gospel, and his desire to follow in the very footsteps of his Lord by living a life of prayer, poverty, penance and obedient suffering.  And yet, for us Franciscans, his appeal goes even beyond these qualities.  St. Francis was not only a great lover of God, but a great lover of men.  He understood the two to be inseparable.

In is Testament—a short document written at the end of his life entrusting his spiritual legacy to his brethren—Francis, makes the simple, yet profound statement that “the Lord gave me some brothers….”  It seems as if it were merely mentioned in passing, but the rest of the document and the testimony of his whole life bear witness that this remark is charged with meaning.  His various biographers detail story after story revealing the strong, but tender love that the poor man of Assisi had for his brothers.  For example, on one occasion a brother woke in the middle of the night seemingly dying of hunger pangs as a result of intense fasting.  St. Francis, whose own fasting seemed to know no bounds, rather than chastise the young brother, ordered all of the brothers to get up and eat grapes with the young man so that the he would not be ashamed of his weakness.  St. Francis recognized his brothers as one of the greatest gifts God had given them and he loved them deeply.

In our own community, the tradition of Franciscan brotherhood lives on!  It is days like today, when in honor of St. Francis, almost twenty priests and over fifty brothers and sisters gathered around the altar of the Lord for the holy sacrifice of the mass that I am reminded that the Lord gave ME brothers.  It is days like today, when our liturgical celebration extends onto the basketball court for some healthy and holy competition or into our evening festivities when we seek to entertain each other with some self-deprecating skits that I am reminded that the Lord gave ME brothers.

However, my most powerful experience of Franciscan brotherhood is on the non-feast days, when I am struggling day-in and day-out with the few brothers that I live with to live the Franciscan life.  It is the moments when I am able to share my heart and my pain with a brother or encourage him in his pain that I am reminded that the Lord gave ME brothers.  It is the moments when I need to repent for not loving a brother as he deserves and I hear him say “I forgive you from the bottom of my heart” that I am reminded that the Lord gave ME brothers.  It is the many moments of laughter brought on by the brothers’ antics that remind me that the Lord gave ME brothers.

Perfectae Caritatis, the Vatican II document on the renewal of religious life, says that it is much easier to live the vow of chastity in an environment of genuine fraternal charity.  I would extend that statement to the living out of poverty and obedience as well.  Fraternal life and charity is meant to be a particular source of joy and strength for a religious in any community.  St. Francis understood this completely and he continues to teach it to us, the brothers whom God has given him!

Coming soon:  an introduction to the three new members of the vocations team.

God bless you,

Fr. Isaac Mary, CFR
St. Joseph Friary
Harlem, NY


Interested in learning more? Give us a call!
(212)281-4355

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE August 30, 2012

The Community of the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal sincerely apologizes for the comments made by Fr. Benedict Groeschel in an interview released yesterday by the National Catholic Register, online addition. In that interview, Fr. Benedict made comments that were inappropriate and untrue. A child is never responsible for abuse. Any abuser of a child is always responsible, especially a priest. Sexual abuse of a minor is a terrible crime and should always be treated as such. We are sorry for any pain his comments may have caused. Fr. Benedict has dedicated his life to helping others and these comments were completely out of character. He never intended to excuse abuse or implicate the victims. We hope that these unfortunate statements will not overshadow the great good Fr. Benedict has done in housing countless homeless people, feeding innumerable poor families, and bringing healing, peace and encouragement to so many.

Fr. Benedict helped found our community 25 years ago with the hope of bringing the healing peace of Jesus Christ to our wounded world. Our desire has always been to lift-up humanity and never to hurt. About seven years ago, Fr. Benedict was struck by a car and was in a coma for over a month. In recent months his health, memory and cognitive ability have been failing. He has been in and out of the hospital. Due to his declining health and inability to care for himself, Fr. Benedict had moved to a location where he could rest and be relieved of his responsibilities. Although these factors do not excuse his comments, they help us understand how such a compassionate man could have said something so wrong, so insensitive, and so out of character. Our prayers are with all those who have been hurt by his comments, especially victims of sexual abuse.

Personal Statement from Fr Benedict Groeschel:

I apologize for my comments. I did not intend to blame the victim. A priest (or anyone else) who abuses a minor is always wrong and is always responsible. My mind and my way of expressing myself are not as clear as they used to be. I have spent my life trying to help others the best that I could. I deeply regret any harm I have caused to anyone.

With questions please contact Fr. Glenn Sudano at 914-965-8143.

May Brings Ordinations

Fr. John Paul at his first Mass in the South Bronx.

On May 19th I had the privilege of con-celebrating at the ordination Mass of Fr. John Paul, CFR.  Fr. John Paul had a significant influence in my initial discernment and throughout my years in religious life.  My first assignment upon making vows was to live at St. Felix friary and help build Casa Juan Diego, our apostolate in Yonkers.  Fr. John Paul had already been there two years assisting Fr. Andrew Apostoli with his responsibilities.  The first evening at dinner Fr. Lawrence and I were welcomed by Fr. John Paul and Br. Felix with a song with lyrics about stories of us in the novitiate as well as predictions of how life would be at St. Felix Friary.  Transitions are usually not easily and warm welcomes make those memories so much more pleasant.

A Point to Consider:

Whenever a difficult journey lies ahead it is so much easier when you walk with someone who has gone the path before you. In many of the year’s activities Fr. John Paul led the way mostly by example but always with a humble confidence, making it easier and desirable to walk with him.  Without being aware of it, I was being influenced by his example.  The more we strive towards humble confidence the clearer our discernment becomes and we receive the grace to fulfill what God asks of us.

If you would like to discuss your discernment or maybe make a visit with us in the Big Apple, feel free to call us at 212.281.4355. Keep in mind that I will be away until June 9.

You have our prayers,
Fr. Gabriel Mary Bakkar, C.F.R.
Saint Joseph Friary
Harlem, NY

Check it out:



Father John Paul Ouellette, C.F.R.
Possessions included, he gave his life to God


One Priest and Five Deacons Ordained in May
(with photo galleries)

Novices Make First Profession of Vows

49th WORLD DAY OF PRAYER FOR VOCATIONS

Sunday, April 29, 2012, is the 49th World Day of Prayer for Vocations. Every year the Pope asks the whole Church to pray for, think about and discuss the topic of vocations. He also delivers a message on the issue of vocations. Find the full text of this year's message here.

"I am inviting you to say yes to your vocation!"

This year Pope Benedict is focusing on the mystery of Love. God is love. It is only love that motivated God to create. In love He seeks us out. He invites us to respond in love. This loving response is our vocation.

Other than referring to some helpful passages from the Bible, the Pope also includes some great quotes from Saint Augustine, Blessed John Paul II, Saint John of the Cross, Pope Saint Gregory the Great and Saint John Vianney. Among other things, he recommends a strong devotion to Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament and the Poor. We felt such a confirmation when we read that because these are two anchors for our way of life as Franciscan Friars of the Renewal!

As we train our spiritual eyes to see Jesus in the Eucharist,
we will start to see Him in the poor as well.

Please know that we are praying for all of you who are reading this. Please feel free to contact us to discuss your discernment and maybe even make a visit to us in The Big Apple. We do not run specific "come and see" weekends, rather we take visitors as they are able to come! Because we do not have internet in the friary, we usually do not do ministry over the internet. Give us a call @ 212.281.4355 ...

God bless you,
The Friars


St. Joseph Friary
523 W. 142nd St.
New York, NY 10031


212.281.4355

New Website!

May the Lord give you His peace!

Sorry for the delay in contacting all of you out there. We have been really busy working on the new franciscanfriars.com. Let us know what you think. Meanwhile ...

On Palm Sunday, Pope Benedict gave a great message to the youth on Joy.

He wrote, "Speaking of generosity, I would like to mention one particular joy. It is the joy we feel when we respond to the vocation to give our whole life to the Lord. Dear young people, do not be afraid if Christ is calling you to the religious, monastic or missionary life or to the priesthood. Be assured that he fills with joy all those who respond to his invitation to leave everything to be with him and to devote themselves with undivided heart to the service of others. In the same way, God gives great joy to men and women who give themselves totally to one another in marriage in order to build a family and to be signs of Christ’s love for the Church."

Know that you are in our prayers and feel free to call us to make a visit!
212.281.4355

AN OPEN LETTER TO OUR POLITICIANS AND FELLOW CITIZENS

Is there any legitimate limit to the power of the government?  Is there any area of our lives that are protected from governmental control?  This great country of the United States of America was founded on the principles of individual liberties.  Our founding fathers all agreed that there are areas of our lives that the government has no business meddling with.


In recent months we have seen the government attacking and infringing upon one of these fundamental areas: religious liberty.  In fact, it is the very first of the Amendments to our honorable Constitution that ensure freedom of religious, freedom, that is, from governmental intrusion in the area of belief.  Does the government have the right to tell you what to believe?  Can the government force you to do that which you find morally reprehensible?



The recent H.H.S. Mandate attacks and undermines this fundamental principle of our American way of life. Therefore, the Community of the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal stands shoulder to shoulder with our Bishops and all those who defend our American values.  Our founding Fathers sacrificed for what they believed in and left us a powerful legacy.  Following their courageous example, we will peacefully and steadfastly resist any infringement upon our religious liberties and our deep-seated beliefs.



Whether someone agrees with the Catholic position or not, it must be admitted that the Catholic position is a deep-seated, ancient and constant belief of the Catholic faithful.  It goes back to the time of the Apostles.  It is quintessentially a religious belief.  It is a belief that the Almighty God created human life and it is very good.  It is a belief that each human person has an inalienable value because of a God-given immortal soul.  It is a belief that we are all daughters and sons of a Loving Father.  Only in acting with dignity and purity do we express the full wonder of being human.  Anything that artificially interferes with the beautiful act of the marital embrace or involves a voluntary mutilation of a healthy person or causes the deliberate death of an innocent human being is diametrically opposed to the goodness of life and the love of God.  Accordingly, all of these acts are beneath our dignity and can never be supported by those who hold the Catholic faith.



We ask our politicians and our fellow Americans to stand with us against this assault on our freedoms.  If we can be forced to act against our fundamental beliefs, how long will it be before you are forced to do the same?